Thursday, August 28, 2008
My tooth
...I had a dream my tooth fell out. Only it wasn't really my tooth, it was like a shell of my tooth...kind of like the enamel. All that was left was this white tooth substance and it was soft and reminded me of a gummi bear, except white and in the shape of a tooth. I kept playing with it while looking in the mirror...it hurt but it felt and looked so weird I couldn't help it.
The world has left me here...now i watch you fall
The world has made me cold and callous yet again. How am I supposed to believe that there is a common good out there when what I offer is continually taken advantage of? It is as if the grand scheme is for me to be jilted & jaded from the years of generosity and good spirit taken for granted. I finally open myself up and trust in the world and it just leaves me with a feeling of despair and anguish as the hands that hold me and cradle me drop me and let me fall from their grasp. I would like to sit in the passenger seat for once and trust that someone will get me there okay, but time has only proven the opposite of that.
You'll know what has passed you by after I finally learn to move on. One night while your sitting there cold, alone, in the dark, and looking for guidance, you'll turn to your book and it will say to look towards me. I will finally be gone, the one time you need it more than ever. The tears will flow down your face and cut like razor blades just like the one you hold in your hand and are contemplating cutting yourself with, and i wont be there to stop you. Even if I were, you have made me so hardened, so scarred, I think i would rather watch you do it in front of me. I'll sit there and watch the anguish and pain on your face and in your eyes as you mouth out for help while your arms tremble. And then I'll stand up...walk towards you...and continue to walk on by. You've abandoned me enough, taken advantage of everything I could possibly offer, and now its time for you to feel lifes unshielded agony and punishment.
Remember this as your ears begin to ring and your vision becomes blood red and closed off...fading...darker...hearing your heartbeat slow...out...you did this to yourself. The world turned its back on me and for once I am not going to be there to catch you when you fall....and then I smile.
You'll know what has passed you by after I finally learn to move on. One night while your sitting there cold, alone, in the dark, and looking for guidance, you'll turn to your book and it will say to look towards me. I will finally be gone, the one time you need it more than ever. The tears will flow down your face and cut like razor blades just like the one you hold in your hand and are contemplating cutting yourself with, and i wont be there to stop you. Even if I were, you have made me so hardened, so scarred, I think i would rather watch you do it in front of me. I'll sit there and watch the anguish and pain on your face and in your eyes as you mouth out for help while your arms tremble. And then I'll stand up...walk towards you...and continue to walk on by. You've abandoned me enough, taken advantage of everything I could possibly offer, and now its time for you to feel lifes unshielded agony and punishment.
Remember this as your ears begin to ring and your vision becomes blood red and closed off...fading...darker...hearing your heartbeat slow...out...you did this to yourself. The world turned its back on me and for once I am not going to be there to catch you when you fall....and then I smile.
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